coppelganger | ic contact; MoM

[ She stays silent for a few moments, just thinking. Slowly, under the table, she begins to worry at her thumbnails, ripping at the cuticles. ]

I went home. For an update? Another one of my sisters died.

Ah. [No gushing of sympathy -- he went for the subtler downcast glance. Sarah, he figured, would appreciate that more.] I am sorry, for your loss.

[He would guess that her sisters -- her clones, that was something he always kept in the back of his mind -- were indeed mostly the family she had. It seemed like she like a dangerous life, and perhaps not willingly.

Hard to keep much more amidst all that. And an impossible baby in the mix, a miracle child, how terrifying that would be.]

Homicide? [He assumed.] ... Or. Natural causes? [Unlikely.]

Yeah. Murdered.

[ Like most of the rest of them. She takes another drink. ] I should be used to it by now. Or at least not surprised. Yeah?

I wouldn't say that. [Truthfully, it was a relief that she hadn't become jaded by the murders of her sisters. Clones or not, it was obvious that the familial bonding had solidified between her and them -- or most of them, he wasn't sure how many actually existed.

Something to think about.]

The sudden and brutal death of a loved one is not something we should come to... Anticipate. Especially not as a regular occurrence. I think that it is better you continuously bounce back into a mind frame where this is all horrifying.

Yeah. Guess so.

[ She laughs, quiet and nervous, and runs her fingertips over the rim of the glass. ] I didn't really know MK like I know some of the others. But she's good. She was good. [ Her voice drops at the end, sad and tired. ]

Wait. [His own color drains, his eyes divert from her face to his own glass. It was much easier, when the victims only meant anything to his patients. Much easier when he was free to be purely clinical.

It was much easier when Chilton himself hadn't any lingering personal connection.]

I -- did I mishear? MK, you said?

[He took a quick breath, resisting the urge to squirm.]

How? She always seems so. Prepared. For anything.

[ At first she's confused. Chilton knows MK? MK, who's so private Sarah hasn't actually heard from her in two weeks? But the thought is secondary to his question—how? ]

She got tired of running. [ It's a sentiment that Sarah understands more with each passing day. The urge to stop hiding and turn and face them all, even if it means her death. MK didn't want to die. She just wanted to rest. ]

I am sorry. [Heartfelt. Sorrowful. Emotions he nearly never exhibited in session, much less to an authentic patient -- as opposed to one of his "personal projects". Chilton glanced at Sarah's hand, having half an inclination to reach over and give it a small, human squeeze. Offer a connection, if only for a brief moment.

He thought better of it.]

And you? Are you tired of running?

[This wasn't about Chilton, or even MK. He recalibrated the conversation back to its sole focal point.]

No. [ She pauses, then, actually thinking about it. ] Maybe. I want to end it, let my daughter live like a normal kid. If that means no more running, then I'm done running.

Self-sacrifice. [He tilts his head, reconsidering the words.] Well -- in a manner of speaking. You are willing to change your behavior, your strategy, for the sake of your daughter. Speaks to your motivation.

[As a good parent, but that goes without saying. Family between sisters, between mother and daughter -- it seemed so thematic for her life.]

Is it frustrating for you? Being here, in this dimension, where we are essentially timeless? With respect to our natural environment, I mean. Whenever I have returned, it was as if none of this had ever happened. As if I hadn't ever left.

Yeah. Sometimes. When I first got here I thought of it like a holiday, but no one wants to be on holiday for two years. And like you said, when I go back I don't even remember the break.

That idea alone can be stressful for imPorts. Maybe not in a highly traumatic sense, but the idea of... The futility, I suppose. It invites existentialism.

[A glance over, to see if she resonated with that.]

Yeah. [ She sighs and takes another drink. ] Yeah.

It doesn't seem to bother my sister, though. Cosima. She got married here.

Do you see that as something of a betrayal? Or is "betrayal" too harsh a word, despite her finding happiness here?

[A pointed questioned, loaded with a certain breed of bullet. He tried to scale it back, but might have been a little too late.]

[ She gives him a piercing look. She hears the pointedness of his question, but she's not sure what it means. ]

I find it weird, but not a betrayal. What's fucked up is she's barely told her wife about what's going on with us at home. It's like that's not important.

[ Unlike to Sarah, whose entire identity is wrapped up in being a clone and fighting The System and who has no idea what she'd even do if their war were to suddenly end—probably why she's so restless in this universe, where everything is on hold. She clearly finds the idea of Cosima not telling her wife all the details about their life at home more disturbing than the actual marriage itself. ]

You are far more stable than the average person might have been, you know. [It was authentically a compliment, although Chilton's manner of speaking -- as if she were some specimen worth notation -- might not have conveyed as much.] The fact that you aren't blaming others for circumstances that are at least partially beyond human control... It is a sign of emotional maturity.

[Might sound like the obvious decision to Sarah, but Chilton has certainly met enough personality typed who'd accuse betrayal.]

And regarding her wife, would she be responsive to advice from a third party? Or is that a searingly bad idea?

ic contact; MoM

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