ic contact; MoM

[coppelganger]

Hey, it's Sarah. Leave a message.

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[coppelganger]

[ Sarah props herself up on one arm in bed when she hears the text notification, only half awake. She stares down at it in confusion for several seconds before looking at the name attached. Her heart starts to beat faster and faster, and suddenly she's wide awake. ]

if this is a joke you'd better fucking run, right now.

[puppydoctor]

what?

[This isn't promising.]

no, i'm not joking
i just want to know if you still live here

unless you don't know what i'm talking about
in which case just
go back to sleep
sorry to bother you

[coppelganger]

it's really you?

[puppydoctor]

it's really me

[He still can't tell if that's a good thing or not.]

[coppelganger]

i need to hear your voice.

[voice]

[puppydoctor]

[The feed clicks over, and for a second there's just city white noise - the hum of nighttime interstate traffic behind him, the bark of a dog. Then- ]

I'm sorry I left.

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah takes a breath and lets it out, shaky and wet with tears, before she can speak. ]

Oh, god... George... I didn't think you'd come back.

[puppydoctor]

[The tears in her voice are immediately audible, and his chest clenches.]

... How long?

[coppelganger]

Almost six months.

[puppydoctor]

Are you okay?

[It spills out with no thought, the most pressing question.]

[coppelganger]

[ She moves so she's sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in one hand, still half unbelieving that this is real. ]

I don't know. Are you?

[puppydoctor]

Yeah.

[A lie.]

I mean, I'm alive. That's as good as I can get, right?

[coppelganger]

Yeah.

[ She almost says "Come over," stops herself. She wants to see him, but she needs time to process this. ]

I missed you.

[puppydoctor]

I missed you too. [ . . . ] Even if, I mean- ... I didn't know it.

[He remembers the void of death, impossible as it sounds. He remembers the nothing.]

Were you alone?

[coppelganger]

Yes. I've had my sisters, but—

[ It's the truth. Even though she's started seeing Ruby, that recent development with the worst possible timing, looking back on the months without George is looking back on an empty apartment, at Sarah sleeping in an empty bed, with half of it cold and waiting for someone who isn't coming back. ]

Sarissa and I just moved into a place together, like, a week ago. It's outside Nonah. A real house. Before that, I was still at our place.

[puppydoctor]

[At least her sisters are still here, that's a huge consolation. She's got a life with her family, in a house. She's okay.]

I'm glad. [A pause, a little too long for comfort.] I know it's been awhile. You don't have to... I mean, I'm not looking to...

[You don't have to love me again.]

They put me in De Chima this time. My own apartment. It'll be a new life.

[coppelganger]

Is that what you want? A new life?

[ She won't judge him, if that's what he wants. She knows being with her was... a lot. ]

[puppydoctor]

What I want...

[What he wants is to have been here for the last six months. What he wants is to never have left her, to never leave her, to love her forever.

But he's not that selfish.]

I want you to be happy. I know this is big, and, um, maybe you... maybe you found someone else.

[coppelganger]

[ She can't have this conversation right now, about Ruby and what that means and what she wants. She can't bring herself to say "I found somebody else," because that implies—what, that she replaced George? That she switched him out for someone else? She couldn't. ]

I can't... I can't make that decision right now. You know that, yeah?

[puppydoctor]

I'm not asking you to.

[He wishes so much that he could take her hands and look her in the eye and make sure she knows.It feels like forever since he saw her, and it feels like just yesterday, and he can tell from her voice that things are different now.]

And we don't have to talk about it now. We don't have to talk about it at all. But I'll be in De Chima when you're ready to see me again.

[coppelganger]

I do... want to see you. Maybe in a few days.

[ At least then she'll be able to touch him, make sure he's really there. But she can't tonight. It's too much, too fast. ]

[puppydoctor]

It's okay. Take your time.

[The sky is falling, just a little bit.]

Listen, I need to go find my apartment. Take a shower. You go back to sleep.

[coppelganger]

Yeah. I will. [ not, she absolutely will not be able to go back to sleep after this. ]

Take care, okay?

[puppydoctor]

You too.

[He pauses for a moment, like he might say something else, but then, with a sigh, hangs up.]