coppelganger | ic contact; MoM

[ Okay, that's it. ]

Oi!

[ Sarah clenches her fists, crosses her arms so Sarissa can't see it. God forbid it look like she might hit somebody. ]

First off, what's with you thinking you're the only one with problems? Just 'cause you wanna talk about yours all the time doesn't mean they're the only ones that exist. It's so easy for you to call someone your soulmate or compare them to a bloody painting or some poetry. It's not so easy for me to say I love people. It's really bloody hard, and I've tried getting better at it since all this clone shit's happened, but it's still hard and it'll always be hard. Sorry I didn't say exactly what I was supposed to, what you wanted.

[ She looks up at Sarissa, finally, unblinking. ] I've got no problem with you thinking about things differently. That was never the issue. The issue's that that kid you want to protect fucked with my family, and you're supposed to be part of it, but you didn't even believe me. [ Her voice breaks the slightest bit on the last word, and she grits her teeth, taking a moment before she speaks again. ] It's my job to protect them.

You've seen inside my head! You know what I grew up with. ( She could explode with it, but she statd calm until the next part and then it's a painful crack un her voice rather than anything vicious. )

You saw that and you're angry with me for keeping you from beating a kid? Punch first, ask questions later? What am I meant to do, see a kid get hit and just assume the person swinging is in the right because they're family? Because I was the rough kid that probably needed a firm hand. If I had a bruise or two, well, blind eyes got turned. I'm-- I'm not the person who can turn a blind eye for family, I have to ask. I had to have his back because I needed someone to have mine and--

( She just... stops. )

I screwed up, okay? I should have believed you. And I'm trying to protect your family, too.

( Because it sounds like Sarissa's not counted in it any more and she's doing a bad job at not looking devastated. )

Edited 2016-12-05 23:46 (UTC)

That kid's not you! He's not even a kid! He's an adult who's old enough to take responsibility for what he did, but he won't, 'cause you're not forcing him to.

[ She steps away from the door so that Sarissa can pass by and leave, if she wants to. ]

You've seen inside my head, too. And if you think what I did to him is the same as beating on an eight year old, then—I don't know what else to say. But we're not gonna come out on the same side of this.

I know--

( she starts, but Sarah keeps going. And she moves to clear the path to the door, and Sarissa feels something inside herself buckle. )

But I'm sorry. That's what I was...

( was trying to say, but its come out all wrong. So much for poetry and paintings. )

For what it's worth, I feel the same. The soulmate thing you talked about.

( Sarissa moves towards Sarah with slow steps, until she's neither directly in front of her or at her side. Front of roght shoulder to front of right shoulder, just touching if Sarah will let her, before she tilts over to kiss Sarah's cheek and takes a step away. )

It's worth a lot, asteri mou. ( But she's going to go, she thinks, because it doesn't seem like she's done much good by coming here. )

Edited 2016-12-06 01:31 (UTC)

Wait here.

[ Sarah disappears into the guest room for a minute, and when she returns, she's holding three packages wrapped in kangaroo-themed paper. ]

Let me know if Mendel likes his.

( For a moment Sarissa hesitates, and nods her acquiescence.

And then... kangaroos. She can't help throwing Sarah a very amused look. )

Uh oh. You tryin' to tell me I got a few 'roos loose in the top paddock?

Yeah, maybe. Or I couldn't find anything with Tasmanian devils.

I'm from Victoria, mate.

( False snippiness, but she's still smiling, as she carefully holds the packages, running her fingers reverently along the creases and tape, before taking a step closer to Sarah and holding an arm out - the offer of a hug, rather than presuming to just step into one, the way she's gotten used to doing.

More quietly, ) Thank you.

[ Sarah hugs her, tucking her chin over Sarissa's shoulder and briefly closing her eyes. They'll be okay. She can feel that. ]

Of course.

I'm—

( She pauses a second, and hugs Sarah a little tighter. )

Sorry about the words stuff. I'll try ease up. ( Communicating is hard, and she's not good at it - it's all too much or too little, too sincere or too sarcastic, but she'll try. )

You don't have to do that.

[ She hesitates, biting at the inside of one cheek. ]

I'm sorry you think I only care about you when we're the same.

If it's bad for you, yeah, I gotta. I didn't mean it like that.

( Well. Did and didn't. )

I'm terrified of letting you down. Seems like I do that all the time.

You don't. Really. S'just—

[ She looks down for a moment. ]

It's complicated when it's family shit. I'd kill anyone who fucked with them, or you. Even a kid.

( Easing back, Sarissa carefully sets down the presents, and brushes Sarah's hair back with both hands, so she can let her hands cradle Sarah's jaw and fingers rest on her skin, very gently. Sarissa makes no move to try and make Sarah look up, but she does rest her forehead against Sarah's for a moment. There are mythological protectors she could talk about. She could compare Sarah to a lioness, because that's what she seems like, she could talk about Bast who was a lioness and a protector and linked to the Sun, but she can't mention a one of those things because her words, they hurt Sarah. They're too much and they burn her, seems like.

Sarah is gold and sunshine and lions and fire that holds back your enemies and burns them. She's terrible, when she must be, but she's warmth and comfort, too. Sarissa bites the inside of her cheek and stays close. Van Gogh painted sunflowers, just sunflowers in some of his works and they were extraordinary because of how they used new pigments and explored the whole spectrum of a colour, and Sarah was like that but with fire, and Sarissa can't say a word of it. It's hard, keeping words locked up, but she'll try. )

I know you would. I'd do the same for you.

I know you would.

[ Which is why the situation with Kavinsky bothered her so much. But it's over now, done. They can't go back and change what happened. ]

Okay.

( Good. As long as she knows that. )

I love you. ( And, with a slightly more playful tone she adds, ) You bloody drama queen.

Love you, too.

[ There's no way she can deny being a drama queen, so she just smiles and kisses Sarissa's temple. ]

You gonna open that shit or not?

( Easing back from the embrace, Sarissa roughly rubs over her eyes with the heel of her hand, an oddly reckless seeming gesture, with a kind of childishness woven into it. Sarissa is too old sometimes, but mostly she just seems far too young. )

Which one should I open first? You seem most excited about Mendel's.

[ Sarah shrugs, smiling as she breaks the hug and leans back against the wall. ]

Doesn't matter. I just like giving people things. [ Maybe contrary to appearances, Sarah Manning is a huge dweeb. ]

You big sook.

( Spoken with the utmost regard, btw. Sarissa scoops up the smallest parcel dramatically and shakes it a little, Seeking Clues. )

Is it a pony?

You're such a good guesser!

[ The package rattles when she shakes it. It's a mini beer pong set for their mutual enjoyment. ]

Maybe don't shake the bigger one, yeah?

It's why you like me so much. And why I was such a good cop.

( lololol

But omg she laughs as she opens up the beer pong, beaming at it. )

This is fucking epic. Jesus. Friday nights are sorted.

( :D :D :D ) Thank you.

Aw, shut it. I know you must've been a good cop. It's not an easy thing.

[ She motions for Sarissa to open the second present. Inside is a fancy plankton aquarium to serve as both a nightlight for the apartment and to appeal to Sarissa's terribly hidden geeky/animal loving side. ]

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magnitudes - 2016-12-17 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

ic contact; MoM

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cw: ref to child abuse

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