ic contact; MoM

[coppelganger]

Hey, it's Sarah. Leave a message.

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[oddbod]

[Clara looks up a bit more sharply at that.]

I didn't know you'd been ported out.

[coppelganger]

[ Oh wow thanks, Cosima. ]

I was stabbed. Beaten. My kid's— [ At this her voice wavers the slightest bit, and she has to swallow before she tries again. ] My daughter's being held hostage and I can't get to her. It's not a good life. You can blame Cosima for lying to you, but not for wanting you kept away from that.

[oddbod]

Sarah, I...

[She resists the urge to reach out and comfort the girl, half because she's too stunned, and half because she doesn't know Sarah well enough to know if it would be appreciated. But despite the clawing grief at Sarah's words, she knows in her heart that they're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Her voice drops, and her next words are far less biting.]

Look, I understand, and I won't blame her for wanting my safety over honesty. I won't - it's human, but it still hurts. My safety means nothing to me if anyone else is in danger. That's Clara Oswald 101.

[coppelganger]

Yeah.

[ She can accept that, even if she thinks it's incredibly dumb. ]

If it means anything, I know she regrets not telling you sooner.

[oddbod]

[She purses her lips, and rubs at the bridge of her nose.]

It will, later. Once I've been properly upset about this.

[Which is a whole different matter of contention for her. She groans, still a bit tipsy at the edges.]

... God, I can't even be properly upset anymore. I can't cry, I can't drink, I can't sleep - what the hell am I supposed to do?

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah laughs, only half-joking. ]

I usually go out clubbing. 'Course that involves drinking and drugs and usually ill-advised sex, but you could still do one out of three.

[oddbod]

[A little snort laugh makes it out at that, breaking up the tension a bit more.]

Aren't the drugs and alcohol usually the key factors in the ill-advised sex? Because I'm not sure I'm drunk enough to hook up with a sweaty stranger.

[coppelganger]

They can be, but not always. If you're as good at making shite life choices as I am, anyway.

[oddbod]

Mine are usually more "intergalactic catastrophe" than, like, "bad one-night stand".

[She slides off her leather jacket and tries to get a little more comfortable on the (minimalist???) sofa. Moving about, the blur in her vision feels a little more obvious; she tips clumsily towards Sarah.]

God, though. It's starting to sound like a good idea.

[coppelganger]

Yeah?

[ Sarah reaches out and puts a hand on Clara's shoulder, steadying her. ]

I know what you mean.

[oddbod]

[Wow Sarah, what a smart idea, touching her shoulder while she's talking about reckless one-night stands. Clara's nose wrinkles a little in laughter.]

What, the catastrophes or the sex?

[coppelganger]

[ She knows not what she does. Well, she knows what she does, but doesn't fully appreciate how weird it must be to discuss relationships and guilt-free sex with someone who has Cosima's face. ]

Uh, both? At home my brother calls it the usual Sarah shitestorm.

[oddbod]

[That actually gets a genuine laugh out of her, and she tips her head over against the cushion - and onto Sarah's hand.]

As someone who can now look back on her whole life, I'm kind of weirdly jealous of your methods.

[coppelganger]

[ When Clara's cheek touches her hand, Sarah's fingers twitch the slightest bit in surprise. She's not sure whether it would be worse to pull her hand away or leave it where it is, tucked between Clara's shoulder and her head. ]

Why's that?

[oddbod]

[This close, it's clear how still Clara is. No breath comes out against Sarah's hand; she doesn't even blink.]

I think I'd feel more like a person.

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah bites her bottom lip a few seconds before answering. It's not the same, her situation and Clara's. Not even close. But she knows what it's like to wonder if you're a real person anymore. She knows there are people out there who think she and her sisters aren't people at all, just data to be studied or commodities to be used up and discarded. ]

You're a person. We're all people.

[oddbod]

I'm not human.

[She isn't even sure if that part's true. Does a walking corpse still count as whatever it was before? Would it be a bad idea to track down some more vodka?]

You get to feel so much. Even the bad, stupid stuff. It's all... beautiful.

[She reaches up to tap Sarah's pinky, as if she's making a point.]

[coppelganger]

[ She smiles wryly, watching as Clara taps her pinky. ]

Doesn't always feel beautiful at the time.

[oddbod]

But it will, one day. [Another, more emphatic, tap.] There's nothing more human than putting on two different socks, or driving off with your tea still on the roof, or calling your date the wrong name. That's what makes it life! You can get home at night and go, "Oh, today was a day - things happened." And you watch bad telly, and go to sleep, and wake up - that's being human. It's not about how many legs you've got. It's about your experiences.

[Her drunken oration comes to a pause, and she seems to come into focus on Sarah's face, realizing at last who she's boring with her speech. There's a little bit of sadness in her eyes - she'd forgotten for a moment that she wasn't with Cosima.]

[coppelganger]

[ Sarah takes Clara's hand at the last pinky tap, and moves both their hands away from Clara's face. ]

My problems are a bit more complicated than wearing two different socks, but thanks. And you can still do all of that too, can't you?

[oddbod]

[Oh are we holding hands now? Clara follows the movement, sitting up straighter.]

For now. One day I'll forget.

[When her memory is too much for her human body, she means. But surely that's implied, if you're following along.]

... Sorry, I'm usually a much more fun drunk. Some girls on Galsec Seven even got me on a table.

[coppelganger]

[ Yes? Yes. We are holding hands now. ]

Do you want a drink? I was joking earlier. I've got bourbon and probably wine.

[oddbod]

[She thinks about it.

And thinks about it a little bit more.]

Wine would be lovely.

[How much more can she fuck up right now, anyway?]

[coppelganger]

[ Let's find out! Sarah extracts her hand from Clara's and goes into the small kitchen, where she has a bottle of red wine. She pours Clara some wine and then, after thinking about it for a second, grabs some bourbon for herself. She knows that offering Clara more alcohol is probably not the best course of action here, but hey, she never said she was a role model. ]

[oddbod]

Thanks.

[She takes the glass with a little half-crook of her mouth, looking slightly more despondent than when Sarah left. A large sip disappears immediately behind her faded lipstick. Swallowing is a complex process - she has to focus for a moment in order for the reflexes to kick in, but the reward is the familiar warmth of wine in her throat after so many months without it.]

Jesus, that's good. I haven't had a sip since... last November?